Monday, April 28, 2008


We're not in high school anymore.

I can't tell you how many times moms I know, myself included, have used this phrase to describe another mom's seemingly immature behavior, because we all know that gossiping about and labeling others is the best way to stay above the fray. We don't act like we're in high school anymore. We don't worry about what other people think; we don't engage in competitions with our close friends; we don't talk about people behind their backs; and we don't get our feelings hurt over silly things, like party invites, who called who first;etc. The moment that we turned our tassels from one side to the next, we were magically transformed from silly school girls to mature matriarchs, ruled by reason.

On brutually honest Monday, the truth must be told. Here ye, Here ye:

It doesn't matter that we're not in high school anymore. The tassel turning is really just symbolic, and not, in fact, actually magic. Think about it. We do still worry about what other people think (how many of you were at the home depot this weekend?); we do engage in competitions with our friends; we talk about people behind their backs and yes we still get hurt over silly things.

Case in point

My own mother was in my car on Friday and we were going to pick up my kids at school when she started to tell me about the beach cover up scandal. My mother, who is 65, is preparing to go on a cruise with a bunch of high school friends as a sort of unofficial reunion. She was preparing to have a meeting at her house on Sunday so that the travel agent could give everyone their packets. My mother is of the generation that doesn't use new fangled technology, like atm cards, and the U.S. mail service, but I"ll save that subject for a series of future posts.

Why didn't the travel agent just mail the packets? I ask her.
Well, people might have questions.
Having just returned from a cruise that I booked on line only a month in advance, I can't really understand what questions these people could possibly have. I mean the reservations are all made. The dinner debate, over what seating the group should get, has been over for months. The superdelegates intervened and 6:30 won the election. Now all that is left to do is to hand out the tickets. That what is in the packets, the tickets and the luggage tags. So what would the questions be?

Do I have to bring my ticket with me? Can I use a movie ticket to get on the cruise instead? Do the luggage tags go on the actual luggage, or should I simply clip them to a photo of my luggage? I mean, mom if you want to have a party, just say I want to have a party.

In any case, amidst the discussion of what my mother would serve at this Q& A on Sunday that would be held at her house, my mom says to me, did I tell you what Jean did?

Jean, my mom's friend, called her last week to say, she still hadn't found a beach cover-up. If you think teenagers shopping for prom dresses are difficult, you should see what it is like when senior citizens shop for cruise wear. Add to it that the cruise is a reunion cruise and it becomes ten times worse.

I told her that you helped me find a cute one at Old navy, my mom said. I described it to her, and told her that maybe they had others- which of course was my mom's code for don't get the same one that I did. Do you know she went and bought the same cover up but in a different color?

Have you called police yet? I sarcastically replied. What grade are you going into third or fourth? And I said to her, you did realize that Old navy is a national chain and not a couture boutique, that the beach cover up is mass produced, that more than one other woman on the cruise could be wearing it? Imagine the shock and horror.

She was completely annoyed by my response. I don't want to be seen wearing the same thing that she is. People will think we are trying to dress like twins; or that she looks better. I shook my head at my mother. Poor soul.

I spent the weekend reveling in my own maturity, thinking to myself, what a shame mom doesn't get it and go beyond.

It was not until this morning, when I was on the phone with my friend Susan, gossipping about some other nutball mom who tries to boss all of us other moms around, that I realized I am not much better. At drop off this morning, I talked to another mom about this same bossy mom, and she rolled her eyes, and then said half-heartedly, oh I shouldn't have done that. Then, I spent an hour on the phone with my cousin talking about her daughter's prom drama and how weird soccer people are.

Do we ever really grow up? I'm going to say no. Because we are not in high school anymore maybe means that we should know better, try harder, and attempt to reserve judgement, but our graduation does not free us from the bonds of being silly school girls. It's not always a bad thing- as at times it makes life more fun. What is life without a little drama? The key
word, for us adults, is little.

What do you think? Do you think it is possible to shed your school girl skin? Leave a comment, and because I'm the new girl, sitting at the lunch table by myself, I'll reward one random winner with a $15 old navy gift card, provided you promise not to buy a beach cover up, wink wink. Look at me paying for friends, and trying to harass my mother, you can take the girl out of high school...


mommastantrum said...

Um, well lets see...I just mentioned last week that I always feel like a 16 year old, so I guess that means that I am still in High School!

And your mom is so crazy about the beach cover up...but not in an institutional way, just in an OMG I can't believe she's a GRANDMA way!!

Ann(ie) said...

HAAAAAAAAA! That cracks me up. That is exactly what I would say to my own (lovely, but nutty) ma. I also bounced over from mommastantrum and you are no longer alone at the lunch table, girlie. I will be stalking you from here on out. ;) Just FYI.