Monday, April 14, 2008


Moms everywhere can breathe a sigh of relief. I received an email on Friday from my son's first grade teacher that officially confirmed that I am THE WORST MOTHER EVER!

Okay, I may paraphrasing a bit. Here is what it actually said... It began with Lori (she spelled my name wrong -1point)

"Aidan has not done the two weeks worth of Ketchup work that I sent home. It is a shame to see someone with so much potential developing such poor work habits at such a young age. He really needs your help."

Now you are all probably wondering, what in the world Ketchup work is?

No, it does not involve taste testing Heinz. Aidan would eagerly do that work. When we go to McDonald's and I ask him want he wants, he always includes "Ketchup" as part of his order. In fact, most times, he begins his order with Ketchup. I think that it is his favorite part of the meal.
Unfortunately, his love of Ketchup is limited to the food- and does not transfer to the school work of the same name.

KETCHUP work is comprised of papers that the students don't finish in class during the week. I did say that he is in first grade, right? On Friday, any papers that aren't finished, i.e. one word that was supposed to be circled did not get circled, are sent home to be done over the weekend. There is a rule at my kids school, it is a private school, that first graders are NOT supposed to have homework on the weekends, as they have at least two pages of homework every weeknight, except Friday, plus once a month book reports, and the occasional project. Apparently, Ketchup work is the exception to the rule. As my teenage daughter would say, IDK.

In any case, apparently for the past two weekends, my son brought this work home on Friday afternoon. I never saw it, because as he confessed to me this Friday, he took it out of his bag and hid it.

I have several responses to his teacher- some of which I can post without being offensive.

First of all, I have a problem with the notion that the class work that my son doesn't finish then becomes work that I should have to do with him at home. I mean, hello, isn't that her job? Can I send his homework back as her ketchup work?

I sat Aidan at the kitchen table for fifty minutes, but he didn't get this done. Please have him finish it at school today. I'm sure she'd love that! How 'bout this? I'll do the homework, you do the school work. Why I am a failure for not helping him do his work at home, but she, the teacher, is not a failure for helping him do his work at school? 3+2=5; 2+3=5!

Second, I am sorry to hear that my son's future is being permanently scarred by his failure to do Ketchup work two weekends in a row. Never mind that he is smart, sweet and social. In a world where kids plot to kill their teachers, he asked me while on spring break vacation in Jamaica, if he could buy something for his teacher.

Finally, I take offense to the notion that I do not help this boy. Everyday, I do the following:

Feed him, 3 meals, 2 at home, 1 packed lunch
bathe him
dress him
wash his clothes
wash his body
help him with his homework

Additionally each week, I
take him to karate, soccer, ccd, six million birthday parties and play dates.

And then there are the other four children, two cats, household.

So if I am a lousy mom, what can I say? I'm doing the best that I can.

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